theflawless:

why do girls have fake pockets when guys can fit a laptop in theirs 

kanrose:

iammakingperfectsense:

insidemymmind:

Okay, so in Science class yesterday we were talking about sleep cycles and melatonin and my science teacher said, “if you’re trying to sleep, avoid one colour. Blue. Your melatonin levels decrease when looking at the colour blue because it’s the colour of the sky.” GUYS, I KNOW WHY NONE OF US SLEEP. TUMBLR IS BLUE.

image

THE JIG IS UP, YOU SNEAKY BASTARDS. WE’RE ONTO YOU.

dekutree:

girls: spank me i’ve been naughty

me: its okay we all make mistakes 

ifinddelightinthegruesomeandgrim:

This is the only important thing

cockringtoss:

hearing teachers swear keeps me young

streeter:

I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.” 

cooldudebro:

let me lay down some facts for you:

  • aliens are real
  • horoscopes are real
  • skeletons are real
  • star wars is probably real
  • linkin park is almost too real

amortizing:

third wheeling two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple

"There are people who are generic. They make generic responses and they expect generic answers. They live inside a box and they think people who don’t fit into their box are weird. But I’ll tell you what, generic people are the weird people. They are like genetically-manipulated plants growing inside a laboratory, like indistinguishable faces, like droids. Like ignorance."
 C. JoyBell C. (via purplebuddhaproject)
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"The unhappiest people in this world, are those who care the most about what other people think."
C. JoyBell C. (via kushandwizdom)
jasminedarling:

He was a skater goat, he said see you later, goat.